В стиле ACME

[cjelli]

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  > 
  > 
  > Writing is so important.  I think I'll start a diary...
  > provided no one could access it....
  > 
  > LadyHawke
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  > > "The Accident Report"
  > 
  > Here follows a tale of an accident report form filed
  > by a bricklayer:
  > 
  > "I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident.
  > You ask for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
  > details will be sufficient. I was working alone on the
  > roof of a six-story building. When I completed my work
  > I found I had some bricks left over which later were
  > found to weigh 240lbs. Rather than carry the bricks
  > down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by
  > using a pulley. Securing the rope at ground level, I
  > went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded
  > the bricks into it. Then I went down to the ground and
  > untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow
  > descent of the 240lbs of bricks. You will note on the
  > accident reporting form that my weight is 135lbs.
  > 
  > Needless to say i proceeded at a rapid rate up the
  > side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor I
  > met the barrel which was proceeding downward at
  > an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured
  > skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone.
  > Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
  > stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two
  > knuckles deep in to the pulley.
  > 
  > Fortunately I had regained my presence of mind and
  > was able to hold tightly on to the rope. At approximately
  > the same time, however, the barrel hit the ground and
  > the bottom fell out of the barrel . Now devoid of the
  > weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately
  > 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
  > 
  > I began a rapid descent. In the vicinity of the third floor,
  > I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two
  > fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations
  > of my legs and lower body.
  > 
  > Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter
  > with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen
  > my injuries when i fell onto the pile of bricks and
  > fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
  > 
  > I am sorry to report, however, as I lay in pain on the
  > pile of bricks I again lost my composure and presence of
  > mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the
  > empty barrel begin its rapid descent back towards me..."
  > > <>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
  > >du Jour
  > P. O. Box 6007
  > Long Island City, NY 11106-0007
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